I love unpacking verses. I am not the best at it but it brings me to a new level. A level I need to be on daily.
“How precious is your unfailing love, O God!
All humanity finds shelter
in the shadow of your wings.”
The Message says,
“How exquisite your love, O God!
How eager we are to run under your wings,
To eat our fill at the banquet you spread
as you fill our tankards with Eden spring water.
You’re a fountain of cascading light,
and you open our eyes to light.”
Albert Barnes said, “It is not in his justice that we can take refuge, for we are sinners, but the foundation of all our hope is his mercy. A holy creature could fly to a holy creator for refuge and defence…but the refuge of a sinner, as such, is only his mercy…(Opening Up Psalms)
God is a merciful God. Thank you, Lord for your mercy. We have hope, ya’ll. I mean seriously we can take REFUGE in our LIVING God. When we are in the shadows we will abide. When we are impatient then we need to rest in Yahweh. We need to wait. We need to be calm while we wait in faith.
When my 2nd daughter was stillborn…I was so mad. I never thought I would recover. I did not want to take refuge in a God that took my child! I’ll never forget…
I looked at my husband and gave him a look and instantly in my head kept repeating, “please God, please God, please God, not my baby.” My husband jumped up and grabbed my hand. My doctor did not look concerned yet and hooked up the ultrasound machine. There was our sweet angel on the screen but the baby was lifeless. He just said I am so sorry over and over.
I went into an instant daze. I felt not of this world, I was shocked, I was confused, I was so mad, and I could not believe it. God, why did you take my baby? What did I do wrong? I remember sitting there with my doctor holding one hand and my husband holding the other and I just didn’t believe it. They said they were going to put me on the 3D machine just to make sure and I kept thinking, God make this a miracle. Please God, I know nothing is impossible. I refused to believe it. After seeing the FLAT line beep across the screen where my little girl’s heartbeat should of been, I felt my life being pulled right from under me. Why? How? What?
I was told time heals all wounds…blah blah blah
I was quoted every scripture known for grieving mothers. Blah blah blah
I was still angry. I thought of all the people who I did not think deserved their babies. Facebook was like the worse possible thing for the first few weeks. Everyone seemed to be pregnant and talking about it and I just wanted them to all be quiet.
It was only when I slowly started to grasp (which I still have to do on a daily basis) that God’s LOVE is enough. He is enough, ya’ll!!! As believers we should give everything to God. All. Of. Our. Pain. All. Of. Our. Hurt. His Grace is sufficient everyday and in every circumstance. Whatever we are missing in this world, we can be sure we are missing nothing in Him. I had to get to a point to trust…like an uncontrollable radical, crazy, over the top, INTENSE trust. A trust that says NO MATTER WHAT happens even now with my amazing husband and two beautiful daughters, NO MATTER what…I T-R-U-S-T YOU!
This is hard. This is gut wrenching sometimes. God is a God of inexhaustible goodness no matter what our life may “look” like to us. With God at the throne of His precious Grace, we will find mercy.
Mercy: compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one’s power to punish or harm.
Oh, how selfish I have been. Oh, how self-pity took my soul over and pleased the enemy. Look to God. Remember, we love God more than our husbands, children, friends, parents, and so on.
There will forever be pain in this world. Pain we will never understand but take heart sisters…in heaven where our merciful God reigns in eternity is perfection and complete satisfaction.
Under the shadow of His wings…We will abide. We will take refuge until these trials have passed by. Cover me….Cover me, Lord………
At His Feet grateful & trusting,